June 23 (Psalm 116:10)
I believed in you, so I said,
“I am deeply troubled, Lord.” (NLT)
In the movie The Dark Knight, several people dressed as Batman try unsuccessfully to take down the bad guys. After the real Batman appears and saves the day, one of the imposters asks, “What’s the difference between you and me?” Batman replies, “I’m not wearing hockey pants.”
A lot of people think they know what it looks like to follow God. It usually involves a list of behaviors by which they try to do this and avoid doing that. God certainly does want us to love others and not to sin, but a true relationship with Him is about much more than that. For one thing, it is about honesty, even when that honesty means admitting that you are in trouble. Do you really think God does not know when you are afraid or troubled or confused? Do you think He doesn’t know when you are angry with Him?
Too many of us would have written this verse differently. “I believed in you, so I put on a good front for others.” “I believed in you, so I sang praise songs in church even though I wanted to shake my fist at you.” Those alternate versions may sound absurd, but how well do they describe our actual lives? The psalmist is blunt and honest in this verse, and that is what God wants from you, too.
Lord, it’s just You and I right now, and to put it mildly, I’m troubled. I’m deeply troubled. In this moment, alone with You, I am setting aside my pretenses, because, quite frankly, they are too heavy to hold up anyhow. You know my pain even better than I do. Please bring the help and healing that I truly need. In Jesus’s name, amen.